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So I was not the perfect husband you say? You think I got what Ideserved for cheating on my wife? Well you are right, I did get what Ideserved, but it was not like you think. Christine was a bit ofperfectionist. My life was a case of "Trop Belle pour toi" - have youseen the film? It summed up where we were in our marriage. For sometime I had felt that I did not measure up, that I was not good enoughfor Christine, I was adrift in the sea of life. Running with the seametaphor for a moment, any sailor will tell you that you need to knowabout the tides and know how to deal with them. A good sailor is afraidof too little wind rather than too much and also of running aground.Knowing about the tides is about being able to adapt to what life throwsat you. The wind dying is impotence and running aground is being caughtcheating on your wife with a mistress and the mistress realising youwere never intending to leave your wife.It wasn't long before I hit the rocks. Like any sailor I was. "At times I'vethought that it'd be a poignant gesture of spite to die without an heir."A jolt went through me. "Was that why you were fine marrying me?"Bemariq took a long sip of his drink and turned his eyes to examine me."Your point eludes me, Sirin. We could always have had a child through asurrogate."I frowned. Chimeras weren't such an unproblematic solution tochildlessness. The scandal alone would have been a wildfire of nastygossip, not to mention the heightened possibility of developmentalirregularities. Of course, none of that would trouble someone, who didn'twant progeny."But you do want children? With me."Bemariq drank long and full while staring the rain-spattered window. "Youmust admit that at the moment it would be inconvenient."His words struck me as an unpleasant pang. Odd, as procreation hadn'tbeen high on my priorities in life. The primordial machines must haveprogrammed the instinct into me. I remained quiet, as I fought tosuppress the mounting disappointment,.
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